Making Due

I've been friends with Fred for 15 years, and so I wasn't about to miss his 29th birthday party last night.  But there is always an element of anxiety to eating out -- will I be able to find something to eat?  Will I be able to keep food down in public?

The introduction of solid foods has had mixed results for me -- the panic of not getting enough protein often makes me push it and eat until I regurgitate, but I'm slowly learning to just take it easy.  Yesterday I actually held down my whole lunch, and ate 2 part-skim mozzarella cheese sticks, 6 Carr Table Water crackers and 1/3rd of a cup of seedless cucumber.  For me, it was a HUGE lunch!

So I came into dinner feeling positive.  Since Sambucca is a family-style restaurant, the portions are huge and everyone is expected to share.  That was reassuring, but I decided to order a side of sausage and a side of broccoli rabe - two things I could most likely eat.  Man, was there a LOT of food.  Everyone except me and the birthday boy was drinking, but it didn't feel awkward and I didn't miss it.  Two of the people at the dinner didn't know about my surgery either, but I think I wouldn't have even needed to tell them.  We got a Caprese Salad for the table (tomato & mozzarella) and I managed to eat half my cheese & tomato and it tasted SO good.  I could feel the signs of fullness, so I stopped eating despite the delicious taste ... right away. 

I was already a bit full by the time the rest of the food came, but I wanted to try and get my protein in.  I had tiny pieces of the chicken and salmon dishes we'd ordered.  I had 3 slices of sausage, and maybe one piece of the broccoli and then I really knew that I was done.   I didn't clean my plate, or scramble for protein.  I just left my food there.  It felt great.


Fred got a fantastic birthday dessert, but I didn't even want any, even though it looked good!  It was tough not having any more water, too, because the restaurant was really warm and the sausage had been a bit spicy!  But I held out, and about 1.5 hours later at Fred's apartment, I drank some cold water and it felt great.

Adam said later that he was so proud of me for handling the restaurant so well: not only for keeping everything down, but for finding things to eat, knowing my limits, eating slowly, and choosing my foods carefully.  I was a bit amazed too, really. 

Not only did I feel good about my food choices, even though my whole dinner was really only 11g of protein when it really needed to be more like 20 (whoops), but Fred said that my weight loss was really noticeable.

In my last entry here, I was really depressed because it didn't look like there was any difference between my current before & after pictures.  But in the photos we took at Fred's apartment, I really did see a difference, not only in my face and neck and shoulders, but in my body as well.
Additionally, I wore a dress I'd bought pre-surgery.  It's an 18, and it had been SO tight that I actually busted the zipper when I was moving around in it last time I wore it.  The zipper repaired, it actually felt loose and comfortable last night... of course, the bust area was loose to which caused a bit of a scandal while sitting!

But from all angles in all pictures from last night, I did look legitimately thinner, and that makes me feel a lot better!